Chris Harne. Let's get started:
I'm going to tell you more than you needed to know. Count on it. I'm 6'1" and 31 years old. Think "typical privileged white guy in America." It's an excellent lot if you have to have one.
Just like everyone else, I have exactly one life to live. From that simple fact, my thoughts shoot off in at least thirty quick directions. What is the best way to spend my time here? Should I look at life as a farce or should I try to ascribe meaning? Is there something I can do now to lessen my potential misery later?
Sometimes I bother to listen to science, but I'm not sure that understanding the complexities of the universe gives me any clear direction for the day-to-day. If anything, my cursory understanding of the physics of the universe has led to a greater feeling that I am surrounded by relatively meaningless farce. Learning how to squeeze and organize a human body and mind into that view is a challenge.
For now, I'm using a mallet: I'm taking all my thoughts and problems and trying to flatten them out into a sheet of even thickness. I'm trying to make a device that I can roll up and slip into a neat little slot. For later. I had a solution back when I was seventeen: "remember to never take anything too seriously." This is still the best and simplest advice I have come across. Try not to let the expanding thoughts creep out and beg for meaning that isn't there. Don't despair. Take this all one step at a time. There will be plenty of time to rot once you're dead.
On a positive note, there are many ways to fake a meaningful existence, and fooling yourself can be quite blissful at times. Amusement is key. I try not to pass up opportunities to amuse myself. I try to have fresh popcorn for the parade of farce in front of me. Encumbered by the same chemicals which inhabit each of our brains, I still fall short. The brain is a mess of electricity and chemicals, and untended will leave anybody vulnerable to sadness or despair. I get that too. My trick for dealing with that so far has been to disappear from wherever I am, or drink a gallon of the closest cheapest alcohol.
New challenges are presented as life ticks on. Alcohol became more of a problem than a solution, and the thrill of disappearing began to wear off when I came to a better understanding of loneliness.
What now? Projects. I am trying to balance a reasonably comfortable present, while preparing for a more comfortable future. What that entails for me:
- Not having a real job
- Learning how to build and fix my own stuff
- Starting a retirement plan
It's a process. I'm working on it. First, I left my job as a bicycle mechanic. Well, I saved up some money and then left. Next, I built a tiny 8'x12' house. When I got to a reasonable point of completion with the house, I started to learn everything I could about selling books and media items on Amazon. If you're looking for "meaning" in life, I doubt you'll find it by building a wooden box or putting cheap books in a cardboard box. But as a way to pass the day, you could do much worse.
I have a blueprint for the present: build stuff, and make enough money to eat by selling stuff. I need to do a lot more of both, and then I believe the chips will fall into place.